Kiss Kiss Stake Stake
by Spike is mine
Summary: Set directly after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and during Entropy, but before Spike goes to the Magic Box. Captain John Hart's busted vortex manipulator sends him to Sunnydale Ca. Now he's stuck on earth. Spike's hurting over Buffy's rejection. Maybe John can do some good while stuck in the crappy SoCal town. Stand alone unless people want more. Review, tell me. Slash Spike/John yumminess
1. Chapter 1

Captain John Hart stepped out of the rift. His eyes flashed with anger. This was not where he was supposed to be. He was still on earth for fucks sake. Worse, he was in a forest.

"Shit," he hissed, playing around with his vortex manipulator. But Jack had successfully bolloxed it up. He was stuck on this shitty little planet until he figured out how to fix the goddamn thing.

"Oh bloody hell," a voice cried out, followed by the sounds of a fight.

John needed a touch of violence right now, or a good hard shag. Violence sounded closer, so he followed the noises.

"You broke my blood bottle you git!"

John watched from the cover of trees as a blonde man in all black beat a huge something, alien perhaps.

"Now I gotta get more." The man grabbed the creature by the back of its head and brought its face down into his knee.

"I wanted a nice, quiet, extremely drunk night. But no, you have to come and bugger it all up." He tossed it, and it landed several feet in front of John.

John sunk a little further into the foliage.

"Any other night I'd 'ave made this quick. Tonight, I'm going to make you cry."

John knew already that he liked this guy. And geez, the guy looked almost like his double. A little younger, and with crazy bleached hair, but they could be brothers. _Thank god we aren't_, he thought lustfully as he watched the other man dance around the creature. Such animal grace and poise. He definitely wanted him.

The man's face changed and his eyes glowed golden as he threw himself at his opponent. He looked feline almost. _Gorgeous_, John thought, his pants growing increasingly tight.

"You know what, I'm bored." John admired the look of glee on the blonde's face as he snapped the creature's neck, practically turning it in a hundred and sixty degree angle.

John chose that moment to step out. "Bravo." He clapped. "Very impressive."

"Who the hell are you?" His face slipped back into its human form as he eyed the weapons that hung off John's hips. Two guns and a sword.

"Captain John Hart. And you?"

"Spike. What the hell do you want?" Spike sniffed the air. "You smell human…mostly."

"I am human. Better than the humans of this century though. Stronger. More staying power." He grinned and raised his eyebrow. "What are you, beautiful?"

"Vampire."

"Those exist?" John was actually surprised, and he wasn't often surprised.

"Unliving proof right here, mate."

John licked his lips. "Never had sex with a corpse," he said, leering at the vampire.

Spike squinted. "Are you a sex bot? I swear to god, if that miserable little cretin made a sex bot of me I will bloody kill him. Chip or no chip."

John tilted his head, amused. "I'm not a sex bot. I like sex though. Care to have some?"

Spike _hurumphed_ and crossed his arms. "Not my type."

"Aw, but it could be so much fun!" John stepped closer. Spike stepped back, bumping into a tree.

"Not my fun," he informed the rapidly approaching man.

John pressed his body against Spike. "But it could be," he answered, his voice low and promising so much delight.

"Don't shag men," Spike muttered, though his body begged to differ. He leaned closer into the very alive, very male body, biting back a moan as John's hot, breath brushed sensually over his neck.

"I can change that," he whispered into Spike's ear, rolling his hips. He smiled when he realized he wasn't the only one sporting wood.

Spike couldn't stop the moan this time. Man or woman, he hadn't been touched since Buffy left him. She told him that she wanted him to move on. Maybe John was just what he needed to get his mind off that painful order.

"Come on, Spike, I know you want to." He rubbed his hand against the front of Spike's jeans.

Spike's head rolled back against the tree and John took the opportunity to bite his neck.

"Yes," Spike hissed as his hips jerked forward.

"You want me, baby?" John asked seductively against Spike's cool flesh.

"Yes, yes. God yes," he whimpered and grabbed John's hips, grinding against him.

John smirked and tugged Spike's shirt out of his pants. "Tell me what you want."

"Touch. I want you to touch me."

Spike couldn't believe that he was giving away so much power, but there was something about John. His scent, his heat, his smooth accented voice in his ear, it drove him wild. He _needed_ him to touch, to kiss, to shag the bloody sense out of him. He'd never wanted a man before, not really, but he was panting in need, pinned between a hard, muscular body and a tree. And he wanted more.

"Be clear now. Tell me what to do." John unbuckled Spike's buckle and unzipped his jeans. "Do you want this?" He grasped Spike erection, sliding his thumb over the tip and gathering the precum to slick up his hand as he slowly slid it up and down Spike's shaft.

Pleasure swallowed Spike, flowing over him. He whimpered when John's hot hand disappeared. He opened his mouth to voice his complaint, but John's tongue invaded and made it impossible to speak. Not that Spike minded. His lips were warm and moist, the taste of his mouth sweet and utterly masculine, tinged with the taste whiskey. Spike buried his fingers into John's hair and tilted his head for a better angle.

It was John's turn to moan as Spike kissed him back. The smoky, minty taste of Spike's cool mouth sent shudders down his body as his tongue dueled with Spike's for dominance. He pushed the leather duster off his shoulders, parting long enough to pull the black tee shirt off Spike. Their lips clashed again as his hands explored the smooth plains of Spike's stomach.

Gaining audacity Spike shoved the jacket off John, all but ripping the white shirt under it off.

"Pants off," John ordered, working to get his own boots and pants off.

Spike bent and quickly undid his boots and pushed his jeans the rest of the way off. He straightened up and immediately tackled an equally naked John to the ground.

John was thankful for the grass that softened his landing. "Slow down, kitten," he purred, "we have all the time in the world."

Spike didn't want time, he wanted sex, and as soon as possible. He attacked his companion's mouth, slipping his hand between them to tease John's rock hard dick.

"God pet, you're so hard for me. I want you." Spike bit his earlobe. "Want you now."

John reached for his pants, digging out the lube he kept for situations such as the one Spike currently had him in. He tugged it out and rolled Spike onto his back.

Spike's confusion cleared as he watched John generously coat two fingers with lubricant. He struggled under him for a minute, not at all sure that he wanted to be buggered. He wanted John, but he wanted to be in control.

John bent down and kissed Spike, tracing his bottom lip with his tongue. "Hush, luv, I'll take care of you."

Spike, entranced by soft lips, didn't notice John's hand move until his index finger slid into him. His head lolled back and he gasped at the new sensation. Another finger added to the sting of being invaded, but the slight pain was demolished by the waves of pleasure that washed over him. He found himself moving with the fingers, craving more.

"Please… please…" Spike begged. He _needed_ more.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Spike." John took his ear between his lips, sucking on it.

"Ah fuck," Spike groan, his erection now rubbing against John's toned stomach. "Fuck me. Please, John."

John closed his eyes at the sound of his name on Spike's lips. He quickly replaced his fingers with his cock, driving into Spike's ass. Spike yelped, but John swallowed the noise with his mouth.

Spike banded one hand around John's head, holding him in the kiss, while his other scratched John's back. The heat was deliciously scorching, and every thrust of John's cock hit his prostate.

John felt his completion rapidly approaching, and he bit down on Spike's neck, giving Spike's erection a couple of firm pumps. The combined sensations were too much for Spike and he came, his muscles clenching and drawing John over the edge with him.

White-hot ecstasy ran through the two men as they both came in long streams. After their intense orgasms subsided John collapsed onto Spike in a tangle of sweat gleamed limbs.

Spike wrapped his arm around John, nuzzling his shoulder. That was one of the best experiences of his existence, he still felt John's hot seed cooling inside. It felt good, reassuring warmth. And if John's glazed look and heavy breathing was any indication, he did a pretty good job at his first male on male shag.

"You got a place with a bed?" John asked, pressing soft kisses up Spike's throat.

"Fully furnished crypt do?"

John nipped his adam's apple and elicited a moan from Spike. "Don't care where as long as I can spend all night tiring you out," he breathed into Spike's ear, "I'll let you be on top next time. And if you're a real good boy, I'll let you bite me." With that said, he stood and started dressing.

Spike laid there a minute, pondering John's words. He grinned fit to crack his face and hurriedly dressed. Maybe Buffy was right. He couldn't stop loving her, but maybe he should move on.

"Coming?" Spike asked as John fastened his holster.

"Not at the moment, but the night's still young." John winked at Spike and smirked.

Spike slipped his arm around John's waist and pulled him flush to his body. "Bloody right. This time I'm in control." He licked John's lips, pressing a firm kiss to them before dancing back.

"And if you can keep up, I might even bite you." Spike turn and jogged away.

"Knew I'd like you." John laughed and ran after him. Jack screwing up his vortex manipulator was the best thing that could have happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Spike took a sip of his beer, tuning out the hustle and bustle of the bar as he thought over his last week. John was still with him, teaching him things that he never thought he would enjoy. Nobody knew about John yet. When they went out they didn't kiss or touch, though John tried on occasion. Buffy had once again requested that he move on. Warren was been arrested while waving a gun around in front of Buffy's house. And Anya was a Vengeance Demon again. One week, but so much changed.

"Enjoying the view?" John asked, drinking half his beer in one go.

Spike blinked, pulled out of his thoughts. "Huh?"

"You seem mighty interested in that beer. You're giving it the most curious looks. Care to share?"

"The beer?"

"No, gorgeous, what's got your knickers in a twist." John tilted his head, genuinely concerned.

Spike hadn't had someone look at him like that in a long time. He really liked John, why the hell was he keeping him a secret? Wasn't that what Buffy did because she was ashamed to be with a vampire? Spike caressed John's cheek, pulling him into a kiss. Their first public kiss.

When they parted John searched Spike's eyes. "Why'd you do that?" he asked softly.

"Because I wanted to." Spike pulled him into another kiss, deeper than before.

"Ha! Spike, is that you?" Xander's whiney voice chuckled out. "Are you kissing a guy?"

Spike turned to Xander. "What's it to you, Harris?" He forced himself to sound collected even though he was a little scared that Xander caught him kissing John.

Xander laughed. "Did you get a sex bot of yourself?"

John regarded Xander coolly. "I'm no robot."

Xander laughed even harder. "Oh god, I always thought you were a fag. You wanted to get in my pants last year, I swear."

Spike growled. "I'd never touch you."

"Are you the woman in the relationship? Bet you make a good widdle wife. Take good care of your man. Or men. I bet you'd be a hit in prison."

John's hand zipped out and snatched Xander's collar before anybody could react. He brought Xander's face smashing down onto the bar counter. Pinning his head down with one arm, John bowed his head and snarled into Xander's ear.

"One more word out of your fat mouth and I swear to god I'll rip off you balls and feed them to you."

Spike was shocked. John's display sent a wave of lust through his body. The possessive tint of his voice sent shivers down his back.

John released Xander and pushed him back. Xander tripped and fell over his own feet, his nose bleeding and his ego shot to hell.

John turned back to Spike, who immediately attacked his mouth. He moaned and pulled Spike closer. It wasn't enough. He slipped off his stool and tugged Spike with him, leading him out into the alley behind the bar.

Spike felt his back hit the wall as soon as they were outside. John's hands and mouth were everywhere at once. Spike was tempted to shag John right there, but that would take too long, and more than likely be too loud. There were too many demons in Sunnydale. Too easy to be caught with their pants down. Still, John made Xander cry, that deserved something.

"Stop," Spike ordered.

John paused, his eyes glazed and dilated. "What?"

Spike buried his fingers into John's hair, kissing him. "This is for you, pet." He turned John into the wall, working his pants down to his knees.

John's eyes rolled back when Spike took his cock into his hand. "Oh god, Spike."

Spike grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Shh, be very quiet, luv." Spike dropped gracefully to his knees, kissing the length of John's shaft before taking it in to his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking, before taking him to the back of his throat and swallowing.

"Oh my…." John gasped, failing to draw air into his lungs. Spike repeated the action and John came, cursing and moaning.

"Spike?"

Spike pulled back, his eyes widening as Buffy walked near.

"Spike, what the hell are you doing?" She looked at the scene in horror.

"I… Buffy…." Spike scrambled to his feet, his face drawn in embarrassment and shame.

John tucked himself away. "Bet you could get it in three guesses, beautiful," he said, moving to put his arm around Spike's waist. Spike stepped away and John tightened his jaw. He didn't handle rejection well. The last time someone treated him like that he pushed the man off a building. Of course the man was Jack, and Jack couldn't die. That wasn't the point.

"So…what, you're gay now?" Buffy made a face and Spike struggled for words. "Is he your boyfriend?"

John sneered at Spike, who appeared very shame faced. "Of course not. Isn't that right, Spike?" He stalked towards the bar's back door. "Come find me when your girl dumps you again."

Spike watched John enter the building, door slamming behind him.

"So what, Spike bot or something? This is totally weird. When Xander said you had an evil clone, this was not what I expected."

There were the sounds of a ruckus somewhere close, but Spike ignored it. "Buffy, do you want me?"

Buffy stared, taken aback by the question. "N-No. Of course not. Not anymore."

"Are we dating?"

"You know we aren't."

"Then why the hell does it matter who I sleep with? You told me to move on."

"I didn't mean to a man. It's gross." Buffy looked more jealous than disgusted.

Spike moved to the door John used to reenter the bar "He likes me. He makes me feel wanted. Red's a lesbian, I don't see why I can't be with John."

"Because…." She didn't actually have an answer for that. At least not one she wanted to give.

"Because you like me pining away for you. You said move on, but you didn't think I would. Buffy, I'm with John, for right now at least. I'm not ashamed, I'm not going to hide him away like a dirty little secret. Not like what you did to me."

"I don't-" Buffy started, but Spike cut her off.

"If that's true, then why do you care?"

"What you were doing, its…wrong, and gross."

"I was blowing my boyfriend. You don't have to like it, but you sure as hell can't stop me. I still love you, Buffy, but we aren't together. I care about John, and I hurt him. I'm going to go make it up to him."

Spike went into the bar. John wasn't hard to spot considering he was the only one left in there. Spike saw the guns on the bar and rolled his eyes. That explained the noise.

"Scared 'em all away, eh?" Spike asked, coming to sit beside him.

John scoffed, guzzling down have of the contents of his bottle. "She leave you already? Just a quickie then."

"Oh yeah, we had lots of sex in the less than four minutes we were out there. Come on, John, I'm not with her anymore."

John lifted his eyebrow. "That doesn't mean you don't want to be. It's fine by me, pet. I'm having a good time, but good things end. I've had more than a few short lived affairs."

"Is that all this is? A short hop in the sack?"

"You're in love with her; I don't see how I fit into that."

Spike touched John's face. "Look at me."

John raised his eyes to Spike's. "You don't have to humor me. I saw your face. You're ashamed of me." He turned away from Spike, drinking more of the shitty alcohol of the twenty-first century.

Spike tackled John out of his chair, the two of them crashing to the ground. Spike trapped him between his body and the floor, straddling his hips.

"I'm not ashamed of you." Spike bent over him, capturing his lips. John grasped Spike's head and kissed him back hard.

They parted, panting for air. John looked up at Spike, cupping his cheek and pressing a couple soft kisses against his mouth.

"You'd leave me if Buffy asked you to," John said sadly.

"No," Spike pressed his forehead against John's. "No. John, I want you. You're mine. I'm not going to let you leave."

John closed his eyes. Despite his cocky bravo, he wanted someone to own him, possess him. Take care of him. But he couldn't let Spike know that, not yet at least. He pushed Spike off.

"Oi!" Spike frowned, hurt. "What's tha—" John cut him off, jumping on him. Spike moaned when John pinned his hands over his head and nipped his neck.

"You're forgetting, Spike, I'm the dominant one. You're mine." John bit down sharply, knowing exactly how much Spike liked it.

Spike caught John's earlobe between his teeth, sucking and it. "Home. Now."

John nodded. "Or I'll fuck you right here." He stood and pulled Spike up with him. "I'm getting somewhere other than a crypt to stay after tonight." John grabbed his guns, holstering them.

"Why? It's comfy." Spike tossed his arm over his shoulders.

"Yeah, if you're dead." John wrapped his arm around Spike's waist. "If I'm going to stay on earth, I'm going to damn well stay in an apartment."

"And how are you going to pay for it?" Spike argued.

"What, I travel through time and space, but you don't think I have a couple bank accounts floating around? The Cayman Islands are wonderful. I've got a least four or five hundred thousand squirreled away."

Spike looked at John with a new respect. "I didn't peg you the type."

"To plan ahead? Just because your cute ass doesn't know how to, doesn't mean I don't."

Spike moaned when John licked up his neck. "Car," Spike instructed, pushing John against the driver's door as he struggled with his keys. He growled and flung the door to the backseat open.

"I'm on top." He pulled John's mouth to his.

"Wrestle you for it," John teased as he dragged Spike into the car.

Buffy watched with a shudder as the two men ducked into the car. The painted windows would have been perfect cover, except that Spike and John didn't close the door. It was horrible. Not Spike.

" So, so wrong," she muttered, but didn't take her eyes off the homoerotic scene. She wasn't against gay couples, her best friend was a lesbian, but it seemed wrong for Spike to leave her for a man. Except he didn't leave her, she left him.

John sat up, his legs straddling Spike, and grabbed the door. His eyes found Buffy and he winked at her before closing the door.

"Ass," Buffy hissed and stomped away. It was wrong!


	3. Chapter 3

It had been two months since John had found an apartment that suited his needs. It had a spacious living room and bedroom, and he had it tastefully designed with lots of dark colors to attract his lover's attention.

Said lover lounged shirtless in sweats on the blood red leather loveseat and worked on a crossword puzzle while John slept. A smile played around his lips when he heard footsteps. John was awake, and that was always fun.

John settled down next to Spike, equally shirtless. "Doing another one?"

Spike looked up at his boyfriend. "You bloody well ruin the last one."

"I was just helping. It isn't my fault that I know history. My old job required it."

"Yeah, yeah," Spike said, ignoring John and setting about finishing his game.

John was never one to let anyone ignore him. He slid his hand up Spike's thigh, using his lips to play with Spike's ear.

"Quit it, we just finished the last bout you set off. Swear you're worse than a vampire." Spike tried not to pay heed to the hand rubbing the front of his pants, but that was no easy feat. Spike rolled up the paper and hit John on the head.

"Bad dog," Spike said, smothering his mirth.

John snatched the paper and tossed it, wrestling spike to the ground. They bit, punched and kissed until one pinned the other. John looked down at Spike, breathing heavily.

"Spike, I'm human," he said, frowning.

Spike lifted his eyebrow. "I figured that out already."

"No. I'm gonna get old, die. You're not." John rolled off Spike, sitting next to him on the floor. "I don't much like that idea."

Spike sat up, tilting his head. "What brought this on?"

John shrugged. "Us. We won't be able to be this way forever if I keep aging. Spike, turn me."

Spike shook his head. "No."

"Why? I don't want to die. I never really thought of it while I was running around the galaxy, traveling through time, but now I'm here, one spot. Stuck."

Spike touched John's cheek, kissing his temple. "John, I turned my mother when I was first sired. She was a demon. She wasn't herself. I'm not going to lose you like I lost her."

John raked his hand through his brown, receding, hair. He really hated aging. "A soul. You said that Angel idiot has a soul. Turn me, give me a soul and I'm good to go."

Spike wrapped his arms around John, kissing his neck. "Soul won't stick if you have sex." He nuzzled his cheek. "There's one more way, but I don't know if you'll like it."

John turned his eyes to Spike. "I'm sure I'll like it better than being celibate."

"We'd have to—"

A knock on the door interrupted Spike. Buffy's annoyed voice rang through the wood, ordering they open up.

"Bugger," John cursed. "I'll get it." He moved to the door while Spike resettled on the couch.

"Hello Gorgeous, how nice of you to stop by," John grinned at Buffy. "Come for a particular reason, or you just couldn't wait to see me naked?"

"Stop teasing the Slayer, and let her in," Spike called.

John extended his arm. "Mi casa es su casa," he said.

Buffy walked in, not impressed by John's playfulness. "Spike," she stopped in front of him. She forgot what she wanted to ask when she saw Spike's smooth, pale chest. A very lovely chest. She had forgotten how much she really liked that chest.

John came up behind her and whispered in her ear, "He looks even better without pants on."

Buffy jumped and glared at him as he laughed. "You, I don't need. You can leave."

"And leave you alone with my boyfriend? Not a chance missy. If you two are doing something, I want in." He winked at her, sitting down next to Spike and putting his arm around his shoulders.

"What is it you need, Buffy?" Spike asked, slapping John playfully on the back of his head.

"Ow. I was being nice! A lot of girls would jump at the chance to have sex with two hot guys."

"Ignore him," Spike said, though the idea of have both Buffy and John at once was very attractive.

Buffy shook off the mental image of John and Spike pressed against her. "Do you know of a demon that strips people of skin?" She made a face. "Demons are gross."

Spike pursed his lips and went through the demons he'd heard of. "Gnarl."

"Huh?" Buffy asked.

"Gnarl. A demon that paralyzes its victims with its nails, and then eats strips of skin from the body and drinks the blood," Spike explained.

John laughed and the other two looked at him. "Uh," he cleared his throat. "It sounds like an alien I took on once. Nasty git."

Spike leaned over and kissed John. "Making a bad impression on the Slayer, pet."

John grabbed Spike's head before he could move, and smashed his lips against his. The possessive kiss was obviously for Buffy's benefit, but Spike found it hard to care. John knew exactly how to kiss him.

"_Ahem_, can we stop the making out and get back to business?" Buffy asked, annoyed for a plethora of reasons, the main one that she hated watching Spike kiss John.

Spike pulled back with one last kiss and looked at Buffy. "Sorry, luv."

"Come join us. I guarantee a good time," John purred seductively.

Buffy almost took him up on the offer. "Demon. How do I find it?"

John grinned at the waver of indecision that passed over Buffy's face. The girl wanted the, he knew that for sure. And John was never opposed to a little ménage à trois. Especially when both partners were so attractive.

"I could track him by the scent of blood probably. Or Glinda could do a tracking spell."

Buffy nodded. "Blood sounds quicker. Come on, we'll go to the Magic Box first."

"Let me get dressed." Spike jumped up and moved to the bedroom.

"So, you two are living together? I thought Spike still had his crypt," Buffy said to John, unhappy about the living arrangement.

"He does. The man won't let go of it. He has practically all his kit here, but he insists upon spending time at his crypt. Not like he sleeps there." John stretched out, moving lithely to his feet. "I better dress."

"You don't have to go. In fact, I'd suggest you stay."

John chuckled. "Why do I make you oh so uncomfortable?"

"I don't know if I have enough time to list it all."

"Let's get the top three then."

"You're an ass, you constantly flirt and you stole Spike." Buffy was surprised at her omission, but knew that the last one took the top position.

John made a noise of indifference. "I may be an ass, but you left Spike, I didn't steal him. And you like my flirting. It gets you hot."

Spike came out buttoning his blue shirt. "Need to do bloody wash. And buy new clothes. You've ripped half my wardrobe." He glanced between to the two. "What'd I miss?"  
"Nothing, luv. You two can start, I'm gonna dress and meet you there." John wrapped his arm around Spike's neck and massaged his lips across his mouth. "Mmm, be good 'til I get there. Then you can be bad."

Spike slapped John's ass as he moved towards the bedroom. "No promises."

Buffy rolled her eyes and left, leaving Spike to catch up.

Spike finally caught her half way to the Magic Box. She had the distinct feeling that he and John did something after she walked away.

"Why didn't you wait?" Spike asked.

"Didn't feel like watching you and John screw," Buffy answered curtly.

Spike grabbed her arm. "Why can't you get along with him? I'd like to at least be your bloody friend, why do I have to feel ashamed for wanting John?"

"Because its—"

"I swear to god if you say it's wrong I'll snap your neck. That is bullshit and you know it. Tell me the truth."

Buffy and Spike stood nose to nose, challenging each other in poise and eye contact. They both itched to kiss the other, but neither made a move.

"Go on and kiss the girl."

John's voice broke the spell and Buffy and Spike took a step back.

John stood between the two, smiling like the gossip he was. "Come on, why are you two so frigid? The three of us could have a good time, and it might make it bearable to be in the same room as the two of you."

Spike smiled a little. "Come on, we have a demon to kill." He resumed his gait towards the Magic Box.

John looked at Buffy and wiggled his eyebrows. "He'd crack if we double teamed him."

Buffy looked like she was going to slap him. Her words surprised him. "Maybe."

With that said, she went to catch up with Spike. Her ass swiveled enticingly as she went. John grinned. Maybe she was more fun than he gave her credit for. She sure as hell got little John standing at attention.

"Let's turn that maybe into a yes," he said to himself as he followed them. Fun was to be had with those two.


End file.
